Friday, 4 January 2019

Why I Have Created This Blog



I have created this blog so I can share with my readers the importance of Self Love and why having a healthy appreciation for one's self leads to a more fulfilling life, by being selfish.

Yep, I said it! Selfish! How does that word make you feel???

The thing is, I have been called "Selfish" in the past and have taken it personally. Why? Because it doesn't feel good to be known as "The Selfish One" and in my past it brought up lots of negative feelings and thoughts for me personally...

For an example, when I was 15 years old I was a glorified babysitter for my older sister and if I didn't conform and adhere to her requests then I would be called "Selfish," and would have things brought back up in my face regarding all "she used to do for me," because I wasn't doing what she wanted me to do all the time. Which makes her sound very selfish, would you not agree? But surely its not healthy to expect someone to do something in return for their love and support on a conditional basis.

Naturally at this age it made me want to rebel!

I used to have thoughts such as...

"Why does she think I am so bad and is attacking me?"
"What have I done so wrong to make her feel that way?"
"Why cant I do what I want, when I want to do it?"
"Am I such a bad person for wanting to do my own thing?"
"I do a lot for her so why cant she give me a break?"

And of course this made me feel like I had no choice but to please others before myself. This resulted with me just going along and doing things that didn't make me happy or fulfilled. I was expected to conform just to please others for their own self gratification which left me feeling dissatisfied and lost in the world.

The implications of course by pleasing others first can result in low-self esteem, no confidence, depression, anxiety, poor self-worth, inferiority, insecurity, being misunderstood and not accepted. The list could quite easily go on. I know because I have felt all of these feelings growing up in a dysfunctional family not being heard and not being able to stand up for myself.

We should all be allowed the permission to be who we want to be, and stand up for what we choose to stand up for. We all have a voice and we all have our own opinions and just because someone doesn't agree with our opinions or voice, we shouldn't allow others to bring us down or make us feel less than worthy of living a fulfilled and happy life by being selfish because of something they choose to disagree with.

When I am talking about being "Selfish," I am meaning this as a positive and healthy respect for one's own life and self, because all the time we are "people pleasing" we are in fact giving away our power which then manifests as feeling controlled by others, so we end up not taking charge of our own destiny but putting the power in their hands to steer our own personal life experiences.

Is it not time now to get more confident by being selfish?

I would love to know what you think and feel about the word "Selfish" as it can be perceived in many different ways. Comment below and lets have a discussion or message me if you want to change some beliefs around this word itself so that it has a positive effect in your life.

Bye for now, chat soon and remember to Get Confident By Being Selfish!   

2 comments:

  1. Yes, Yes and yes. I need more of this blog. Thanks Mike xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so welcome Biffy! I hope you are keeping well. There is plenty more coming so watch this space ;) xxx

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