Wednesday, 9 January 2019

How Do You Express Yourself?

How comfortable are you when it comes to expressing who you are? Do you even know who you are and what you are about? Are you living your truth, or are you living a lie? Do you stand up for what you believe in or do you sit on the fence and take a back seat? All of the answers to these questions are important when it comes to self-love and being confident with who you are as a person in a world where so many judgments are passed.

Some people go through their whole lives not realizing their full potential and are led by what society dictates to them. We are always told how to behave and whats appropriate or inappropriate from a young age. For example when we are told by our parents how they "think" we should behave or not behave, when to speak and when not to speak, when to do something or when not to do something. The same thing goes for when we are at school and being told the same things by our teachers. This is conditioning at its best and before we know it we can go through life not following our OWN TRUTH and path but just what everyone else expects of us!

I am not saying that all conditions put upon us have no purpose because when it comes to things such as being told not to put your head in the oven when you are a child, obviously means that there is a good reason for this, you will get burnt. There are many healthy conditions which keep us safe and are put upon us because people care about our well-being but at the same time there are also many unhealthy conditions put upon us such as always being told what to do and when to do it!

It's very common for people that have been brought up with strong conditioning to then expect people to conform to their opinions and conditions that were laid upon them, wanting people to "act" in the same ways they always have. This is evident in the saying that "history repeats itself" and unfortunately the people that may fall in this category, unless moving with the times, can be stuck in their "old" ways, habits and strong conditioning.

This is not to be said that people can't change or become more open minded and allowing, as we all have a choice when it comes to expressing ourselves and learning new ways of being without judging or making harsh critiques based on their past conditions.

How can we expect to learn Self-Love or have a healthy respect for our own wants and needs when we are being told by everyone else how to live our life? 

I believe that we are who we express ourselves to be on a daily basis, moment by moment based on either the conditions put upon us from childhood or from a place of knowing what it is we want and how we want to live our own life, making conscious choices. We always get out of life what we project and we have a choice with who we want to be in any given moment.

There are many examples, but here are just a few. Are you perhaps....

Introvert or Extrovert?
Reserved or Opinionated?
Grateful or Ungrateful?
Optimistic or Pessimistic?
Angry or Calm?
Stable or Insecure?
Grounded or Unsettled?
Happy or Sad?
Kind or Unkind?
Positive or Negative?
Realistic or Unrealistic?

There is a whole spectrum of feelings and qualities somebody can express, so without making yourself wrong, can you identify the kind of person you are today or where you feel you've been conditioned? Do you like who you are and what you have become? Are there any qualities or attributes you would like to express more or less of? Are you scared of being who you really are through fear of judgement or resentment? Are you proud of who you are?

There have been many times in my life growing up when I wasn't able to express myself because I was too worried about what others might think of me. I would think things such as, "If I say or do that then I am going to be wrong." or "Are they going to think badly of me?" or "Will they think I am a failure?" or "I am just so stupid!"... the list could go on...

I had it drilled into me that kids should be seen and not heard! Have you ever heard this phrase or been told it yourself? The damage this saying had resulted in my low-self esteem, no confidence, not being known if it was OK to speak out, very withdrawn and unsociable but what I have learned is to no longer blame those who said it to me because I am at the awareness that they had their own upbringing and conditions put upon them. They didn't know any better and probably had it said to them when they were younger. This makes it easier to release and let go of any blame and judgement so I can be who I truly want to be now.

What I have learned through hiding is that it just results in not being able to be true to myself and who I really am deep down. This is such a confidence killer because we are all meant to stand out and be heard! We should all be allowed to be who we want to be without having people judge us and the decisions and choices we make for ourselves. This is OUR OWN life experience and we should be able to make the best of it in any way we choose to express it in. We should be proud and able to stand up and be counted. Remember, EVERYONE IS UNIQUE and has a purpose here.

Why shouldn't you be able to express who you really are? Who do you want to be? What do you want to do in this life? Where do you want to go? Who do you want to experience this life with? These are all choices that we can make for ourselves to be able to live an extraordinary life.

Does it really matter what other people think of you? If someone is judging you or criticizing the way you behave and act, then they have probably experienced the same themselves and have been judged somewhere along the way. Can you accept who you are and who you are becoming?

Here are some tips for being able to express yourself fully and to be confident in who you are:

1) Make a list of all of your positive qualities, go within and be honest with yourself.
2) List out any qualities or attributes you would like to express more of.
3) Accept yourself on a deeper level and accept that it's OK to be YOU!
4) Let go of any judgments made about you, they are after all only other peoples opinions.
5) Forgive yourself if you have made any personal judgments and made yourself "wrong."
6) Be YOU unapologetically because you are amazing!
7) CHOOSE to focus on the positives and don't dwell on the negatives.
8) Imagine just how better your life can be by choosing UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!

Last but not least, choose freedom & release yourself from any fears you may have about who you are and start caring more about yourself than what other people think!


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